What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s Main Event Redux. After first witnessing what happened on Main Event, I at first thought…
“THERE ARE NO WORDS”.
However, considering I’m responsible for recapping what happened, I kind of had to write something and somehow describe the random epicness that occurred and put it into words. This week’s Main Event was like it was written by Diva Dirt’s Bobby. It was random, batshit and hilariously ridiculous. I cannot contemplate that WWE are pushing Alicia Fox. It’s fantastic. Her meltdown on Monday Night Raw was one thing, yet the random behaviour demonstrated on Main Event was another level of awesome. It made little sense and that’s what was so amazing about it.
Before this introduction starts to sound majorly like the ending to a write-up, let’s get things back-on-track. On this week’s Main Event, Emma (without Santino, thank the lord) faces off against the aforementioned sassy and classy Foxy. Will Foxy’s newfound attitude from Raw bag her a win or was it another loss that caused her to lash-out… again?!
TO THE VIDEO!
Out first this week, the girl who dresses like a bag of Haribo Starmix (other sweet confectionary is also available), it’s Emma. It’s brilliant to here that theme of hers again and it’s nice to see that she is still over with the crowd, despite the booking of her character, which has been as badly mishandled as Xavier Woods‘s debut and the break-up between the Prime Time Players. Sadly for Emma, she herself is up there with the worst of them.
Knocking her hips out of their sockets to the ring next is Alicia Fox, strutting like no-one else can. She’s rocking the purple whilst spinning her feather jacket/waistcoat/unidentifiable piece of clothing instead of wearing it. Typical random Foxy. It’s just nice though that the random entrance garment has a crazy persona it can reflect.
Before the match starts, just like Monday, it’s promo time for A. Fox. She removes the plastic logo thing from the microphone, as she, not the WWE is owning this mic time. She says to Emma “I’m surprised you showed up!” before taking her clean out with a microphone to the face.
Boom!
That’s how you take advantage! Alicia continues to stomp and choke Emma, even mounting her at one point like a fierce lioness pouncing on a giraffe dressing like a packet of peanut m&ms. Eventually, Emma gives the call for the referee to start the match, a.k.a, Alicia beats the skittles out of her ass – tilt-a-whirl back breaker style. Alicia then dumps Emma with a sideslam on the bloody apron, a move which I absolutely love. Beautifully devastating.
After letting Emma meet her new bestie, Barricade Man (less annoying than Santino), Alicia throws the Aussie back in the ring and gets a near fall. Alicia then throws Emma by the hair, a move she follows with some Maryse hands. Ooh oui! Alicia’s cockiness gets the best of her temporarily as Emma throws her face first into the middle turnbuckle, yet Alicia proves she’s got the brains as well as the beauty (and the crazy) as she gets her feet up, kicking Emma like she just got shot.
After toying Emma by slapping her around and talking trash, Alicia gets her bubbly foe to her feet. Alicia goes for an Irish whip, yet out of nowhere, Emma rolls Alicia up with a schoolgirl and gets a much needed win!
And now is where the heavenly mindf**kery begins.
After trying to attack Emma and failing, Alicia is on the warpath, again! After telling the ref he needs to learn to count (I’ll have you know Alicia esteemed offical Chad Patton has a degree in Mathematics. I’ll have you know that I’m also lying to create unnecessary tension), Lic’ yells that she is underrated before telling the audience to shut up. Love it.
Alicia then goes to the outside and tells the timekeeper she’s “so sorry”. Ok then… She then grabs god awful Tony Chimel by the face and tell him she’s sorry too before slapping him repeatedly, grabbing his tie and saying she loves him. Thankfully, she didn’t go to a Daniel Bryan/Justin Roberts kind of level with the tie pulling.
She then sets her sights on Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton, but not before hitting the timekeeper around. Weren’t you just saying sorry to him a second ago? LOL. Alicia then belts out the classic ‘We Are Family’ before trashing the announce table, sticking paper in both commentators mouth, knocking them to the floor and asking for their money.
Thoughts: I’ve pretty much said all I need to see. Whoever wrote this has been smoking some seriously strong stuff – and I’m thankful for it. Fantastic.
So, Alicia Fox is a thing. Discuss.
And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!
