Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser. Click each image to see it full-sized.
A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.
As Steven is in Berwyn for SHIMMER, joining us this week as a special guest is John Canton from our family site TheJohnReport.net. He says: “Thanks to Melanie for the invite. I’m a closet Style Jury fan. I’m a straight male that loves women, but also has opinions on fashion because I was raised mostly by my two older sisters since our parents worked so much. I was also told by my dad that “the shorter the dress, the better…most of time” and those are words to live by, quite frankly. Style Jury combines two of my favorite pastimes: staring at women and writing. Now I’m doing both at once! I should add that it’s a shame we’re not writing about Mickie or Maryse since they’re my two favorites. Bad luck for me.”
So, let the proverbial runway show begin!
ALICIA FOX
Cryssi: On a night where the fashion made me die a little inside, Alicia managed to look the best and that’s not saying a whole lot. I wasn’t a huge fan of this dress but at least she managed to match her shoes to it which is a great achievement seeing as how the other divas mostly failed in this area. Small victories. 7/10
Erin: I know I’ve blasted animal print on dresses before (Rosa and Tiffany at the Hall of Fame), but this dress isn’t meant to be formal, as those were. The print suits this dress so much more because of that; it’s short, shiny, and works well on Alicia’s body. The colors are nice too–no tacky blue–and the print is able to dominate the dress without competing with various cutouts and necklines, so it doesn’t look like some busted prom dress. From the print to the color to the cut, this is a perfect look for Alicia. 9/10
John: Incredibly fit woman that can pull anything off, really. I like how short this dress was although that walk she does bothers me. It looks like an older woman with a broken hip or something. I know it’s a “sassy walk with attitude” but you need to get that checked out, girl. 7/10
Melanie: Absolutely gorgeous! This dress fits Alicia perfectly and complements her skin too. She really does look like a million bucks. I really like the detailing on the dress too… yes, it looks like bee stripes but personally, I didn’t see that until it was pointed out on Raw. I saw a fashionable, sexy dress. Perhaps one of my favourite Alicia looks ever. 10/10
THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: How shocking. They both wore red. These looks are basically identical except one has some fancy little crystal-esque designs on her dress. Neither of these looks are special and it’s to early in the morning for me to try and tell them apart. 5/10
Erin: The shape of Brie’s dress suits her really well, and I like that she keeps it simple and lets it work on its own. For once, the flower in the hair doesn’t look out of place. It’s a very simple but lovely look, and I can always appreciate when a Diva shows restraint when trying to look sexy. Nikki’s is almost identical to Brie’s look, but with detailing at the top. I loved the simplicity of Brie’s dress, and this dress lacks that. I feel that the Christmas tinsel-like detailing could be lost, and as Brie’s dress proves, it would be better without it. 6/10
John: Doesn’t matter what they wear, they always have that “wholesome” image to me. It’s fine, but they don’t scream sexy to me often enough. Their dresses were just okay. They have nice figures, so they can work anything they want. 7/10
Melanie: I think the Bellas looked prettier than they usually do in these red dresses but frankly, I think there’s far too much material here. I think they should have opted for something more form-fitting that shows off their bodies. This is just like a homecoming dress. 5/10
Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.
BETH PHOENIX
Cryssi: Love this woman back in black. The white ring gear was just terrible and I like this variation of it much, much better. Blue always looks amazing on blondes, especially ones as pretty as Beth. Her ring attire comes off as powerful to me but it has a hint of girly in it too. Nice job. 8/10
Erin: The shiny blue is nice, but I almost wish is was paired with a different color than black for the sake of excitement. It’d be tricky to do it without clashing, but maybe a dark gray would have made for a more interesting combination. It’s not a bad look by any means, but Beth has had more interesting incarnations of these tights. 6/10
John: The usual fare from Beth. It’s nice to see her smiling on a regular basis. A very nice woman. Please don’t hurt me. 8/10
Melanie: On the surface, this looks like just another Beth attire but it’s actually a new variation with the blue detailing which I love. I’m not a fan of her outfit with the green detailing… this just works much better. 6/10
EVE TORRES
Cryssi: Horrid dress. Horrid hair. Her dress reminds me of a curtain that would be hanging inside some eccentric grandmother’s house. As far as her hair goes, just no. I’m simply not a fan of the braided bouffant I guess. 2/10
Erin: I lovelovelove this print, but it looks better suited for a more casual dress, and this dress is a bit too sexy~ and formfitting for that. I think if either the neckline were higher or the dress was a bit looser, I’d like it a lot more. Still like it, though. 7/10
John: Fine looking woman. I’m not sure about the colors or the texture of that outfit, though. She’s flat out gorgeous. Just didn’t do it for me this week. A rare miss for Eve who, quite frankly, is very easy on the eyes. 6/10
Melanie: I like this dress, especially the colours. I think it’s a nice fit on Eve too. Not liking the hair though. 6/10
GAIL KIM
Cryssi: Great dress. Wrong shoes. I love flashy looking evening gowns and Gail’s was definitely that. Not to mention it was sexy thanks to thigh high split she had going on. The shoes are nice, but not with this dress. And it’s after Easter. Don’t these Divas know you can wear white, pastels, and gasp dressy open toed sandals?! I would have opted for strappy silve sandals but hey, that’s just me. 7/10
Erin: Nononono. The print, sequins, and cutouts just give me flashes of trashy prom dresses. I’m sure it’s meant to be resort wear, and perhaps it works nearby a gigantic body of water in 95 degree weather, but here it’s just a loud dress that suffers from excess skin exposure in all the wrong areas. 3/10
John: Maryse calling this the peacock was hilarious. I was shocked at how mobile Gail was in this dress. It looked too confined, yet she made it work. 8/10
Melanie: Jesus. The fact that Gail Kim owns a dress like this is disconcerting to me as I usually consider her to be quite stylish and more reserved in her style — she doesn’t try to look too overtly sexy and hoochie. However, this dress is just that… hoochie. I hate it. 2/10
JILLIAN
Cryssi: Jillian didn’t impress me but I love how she looks in blue. Any shade of blue is definitely her color and she totally pops. The dress is to plain for my liking, but at least she doesn’t look cheap or trashy, or poor like some of the other girls. 6/10
Erin: Pretty color, but it’s soooo short and tight. It looks cinched to the point where Jillian can’t walk properly, which means she’s walking that “hoochy” line waaayy too closely. I can’t believe she managed to wrestle in this! 5/10
John: The most top heavy of the girls is one of my favorites when she’s not singing. Short on the skirt and showing off her investments (I’m classy huh?) up top scores high marks on the Canton scale of gratuity. 9/10
Melanie: Far too short and tight but that is Jillian’s M.O., I guess. I like the colour on Jillian, and the sparkliness though. 5/10
KATIE LEA
Cryssi: Well Vintage Katie Lea isn’t exactly my cup of tea but at least she stayed true to herself. It’s not totally terrible, I guess. I don’t like those shoes and frankly she would have been better off barefoot. I would have skipped the tights/stockings and just went for a pair of statement shoes ala leopard pumps or bright red stilettos. But that’s just me. 6/10
Erin: She went simple with her Hall of Fame dress, so I guess she decided to go all out with the accessories in this one. The sleeves make it look like she snipped off the upper sleeves of the dress–not a great look. The dress, stockings, and shoes look great, though, and I think if she lose the sleeves she’d have a look that is very pretty but still works within the confines of her dark character. 6/10
John: I don’t know if you could call this one trashy or something that fits her style. I like the fact that she dresses different from the rest because it makes her standout. Those sleeves make it look like somebody ripped out part of a jacket or something. 6/10
Melanie: Katie and I are never going to see eye to eye in fashion and this is no exception. The weird sleeves just distract my attention away from the rest of it. It really hurts my brain trying to fathom what is going on here. If anything, she is consistent… 4/10
KELLY KELLY
Cryssi: Normally 2K and I are like BFFs when it comes to fashion, but this did nothing for me. Maybe it’s because I can’t get the image of the God-awful white porn star stilettos she wore. Or maybe it’s because her hair just looks fried. I don’t know. I love Kelly and it pains me to criticize her since everyone else does it but this look just didn’t work for me. 5/10
Erin: Another trashy prom dress. This one’s megawatt, exposes the back, and has a slit practically up to her hipbone. I’m of the belief that sequins should never take up that much square feet, so it probably wasn’t a good idea to style it as a floor length dress. This look is pretty much a combination of a lot of my fashion pet peeves, now that I think about it. 3/10
John: Could she look bad in anything? Probably not. I’m not sure how wise it felt to try to wrestle in a gown like that. She is ridiculously beautiful, though, so it works. 9/10
Melanie: Eh. This looks like another hoochie prom dress. It’s just not as tasteful looking as her Hall of Fame dress. It’s just blaring, loud and gaudy. 4/10
MICHELLE MCCOOL
Cryssi: What a goddess and saving grace for Diva fashion this week. Michelle can rock skin tight black pants like no one else can and she pairs them with sexy black boots and a sparkly belt. It’s simple, it’s perfect, and she looks like she doesn’t even try. I love the Laycool tops and want one myself. Michelle once again proves that she’s the most stylish Diva in the WWE. 9/10
Erin: This is definitely a heel look – dark leather-like pants, black stiletto boots, and a dark red tank top professing her own greatness. It’s sleek and sexy, and proves that Divas can do sexy in a non-wrestling outfit without looking like they just stepped away from their street corner. 8/10
John: She can pull off any outfit because she’s probably the most fit woman on the roster. For the most part I love taller women. The shirt works and I’m a huge fan of the leather pants especially when the woman has legs like McCool. 9/10
Melanie: Michelle’s slender, tall body just looks amazing in this outfit. The top is pretty much standard red but Michelle looks great in it, I don’t think I’ve seen her in red much before but it works for her. The bottom half is where she looks like a fierce bomb — the pleather pants are definitely sleek and sexy, the boots are just to die for and I love the little pizzaz that the belt adds! 8/10
ROSA MENDES
Cryssi: Not bad, but not good. Some type of silver strappy sandal would have been perfect for this outfit but those hideous cork wedges aren’t doing it for me. Rosa can do better and we all know she can. She’s a total fashionista and I was disappointed in her this week. 5/10
Erin: This dress just looks cheap. It might be the visible banding at the bottom, but this looks like a beach cover-up dress–something she’d toss on over a bikini. It’s certainly not meant to be for dressed up look, which is obviously what she’s going for here, so it doesn’t work. The Jersey Shore-like hair bump is something she’s become attached to recently, and I think it looks even worse here, for whatever reason. It must be all the white. Speaking of all the white, this ain’t a P. Diddy party, Rosa! 3/10
John: Great body, really nice dress and frankly she is very easy on the eyes. Since she follows my “shorter the better” theory I have to give her some good marks. If I was judging her based on wrestling talent the score would be lower. 8/10
Melanie: I absolutely hate this design in general. The bottom half just looks inconsistent with the top… yeah, not a fan. This looks like something you’d wear to the beach or a some cheap club in Miami. 4/10
So, how did the girls score? Let’s put our scores through our highly scientific “Ensemble Classification Calculationomagraphier”® and see who we’ve deemed this week’s winner and loser. The following is in ascending order by their calculated score:
Gail Kim: 20/40
Rosa Mendes: 20/40
Eve Torres: 21/40
Kelly Kelly: 21/40
Katie Lea: 22/40
The Bella Twins: 23/40
Jillian: 25/40
Beth Phoenix: 28/40
Alicia Fox: 33/40
Michelle McCool: 34/40
LOSER: GAIL KIM & ROSA MENDES (TIE). Dressing more trashy than classy won’t fly with our judges, even when you’re wrestling in your ensemble.
WINNER: MICHELLE MCCOOL. It was a photo finish between her and Alicia, but last week’s loser is this week’s winner. Quite a turnaround, no?
Vote for your favourite look from this week below:
Thoughts? Complaints? Conspiracy theories? As always, let us know in the comments!
