It’s time to look at the season finale of GLOW, and there’s more swerves than the Vince Russo School of Driving.
First of all, Sam has gone on a two-week bender after finding out Justine is his daughter. “I didn’t take it well,” he tells Ruth when he finally shows up at The Dusty Spur smelling like a distillery. The fact that he tried to bang is own daughter is something right out of his script for “Mothers and Lovers,” his Oedipal time travel script that will likely never be made.
Justine has also gone AWOL, but most concerning of all is that Debbie (Liberty Belle) is apparently quitting as well, saying she needs to leave the Spur and move back in with Mark if she wants to make her marriage work. Note to Debbie: Mark is swinging way out of his league. Get out, take the young’un, and don’t look back.
With Sam in the lurch and the main event in jeopardy, Ruth has taken the reins, looking to save the show. Ruth gets the girls to the venue, re-works the card, and takes charge with the camera men, looking to preserve Sam’s vision.
The house is light so the girls cross the street to a movie theater (showing “Back to the Future,” the bane of Sam’s existence) and offer people $10 each to come and fill seats, using pocket money and leftover cash from the bikini car wash.
At bell time, there’s a ring and a packed house, but no Sam and no Liberty Belle. Brittanica and Beirut open, but both women are stunned to see how much heat Beirut drew, with Brittanica getting hit square in the eye by a beer can pitched as the so-called terrorist.
Machu Picchu manages to get in the ring without another anxiety attack, but is still paralyzed by stage fright until she hears her father, Goliath Jackson, chanting her name in the crowd in perhaps the most heartwarming moment of the series. She comes to life and defeats Welfare Queen with a power bomb.
Sam shows up to take in the rest of the card from the balcony and is eventually joined by Justine, who explains she just wanted to get to know her father.
The new main event turns out to be Zoya the Destroya and Fortune Cookie against the Beatdown Biddies. The heels win a lopsided bout, but then Zoya turns on her partner and pins her to win the GLOW crown.
But before Zoya can take the crown back to the motherland, Debbie stands up in the audience and issues a challenge. She is attended the show, ostensibly to support the girls (much to the chagrin of Mar who finds the whole thing “silly”; again, dump his ass, Deb), but Debbie is wearing her Liberty Belle leotard under her clothes. She comes off the crowd and she and Debbie have their match which sees Liberty Belle climb to the TOP rope and hit her cross-body block finisher for the win.
The crowd goes nuts … until Welfare Queen comes out, cuts a brief promo, whispers that Sam sent her out, slams Belle and wins the crown. So much for sending the crowd home happy.
When Debbie and Ruth confront Sam after the show, Sam reminds them that wrestling is all about story-telling. “The money is in the chase,” he says.
Bash frantically delivers the tape to the network and the episode ends as the girls settle in to watch it on TV, wondering whether the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling will be any good.
