Welcome to the first edition of Identity Parade here on Diva Dirt! Whether it’s a ‘whodunnit’ or a ‘whoisit’ (I’ve coined that term myself), Team DD are on the case, and we’ll try our very best to solve each investigation, but we need your help! Together, we’ll aim to leak some secrets or be the meddling kids that make sure any villainous vixens don’t get away with it! Det. Jack White is on the case for this inaugural assignment, and boy is it a big one!
The WWE Universe has been on tender hooks for the last couple as months as we’ve been left wondering ‘Who Attacked Kaitlyn’? It’s been the biggest cliff-hanger since ‘Who Shot J.R’ in ‘Dallas’ (and I don’t mean Jim Ross, he’s just been set alight before) so understandably, you’re all speculating as to who might have assaulted the Hybrid Diva from behind, allowing Eve to take her place in a match against Layla and capture the WWE Divas Title.
In this column, I’ll be providing the case notes and presenting you with our police line-up of the potential dastardly divas who could have committed the crime. I’ll be sifting through the Prime Suspects, the Dark Horses and the not so likely Sublimely Ridiculous to find out once and for all who the ambiguous assailant is!
Dark Horses
Name: Layla
Previous Convictions: Bullied Mickie James for months, branding her Piggie James; sending her best friend Michelle McCool packing from the WWE.
Case Notes: You may be thinking, ‘Why on earth would Layla attack her good friend Kaitlyn only so she would have to face a challenger she hadn’t prepared for instead’, but if she did do it, it would seem plausible to me. Before Night of Champions, Kaitlyn had picked up a big win against ‘The Glamazon’ Beth Phoenix and the crowd were really rooting for her, unlike the then Divas Champ who could have been fooled that the audience were crickets; jealousy perhaps? Not to mention, Layla could have attacked the Walnut Crusher in the hope her match would be cancelled. The last ever Women’s Champion has been cowardly in the past; shouting hurtful abuse at the likes of Beth, Kelly Kelly and Mickie left, right and center, so hoping she got the night off is nothing compared to what she’s really capable of. Layla could have been scared of losing her belt and perhaps she isn’t the happy-go-lucky smiler that we think she is.
Name: AJ
Previous Convictions: Leaving Daniel Bryan at the altar; having to resign as Raw GM for allegations of fraternizing with a Superstar.
Case Notes: AJ may seem like an outsider, yet she’s had a lot on her plate as of late and maybe she just needed to vent some frustration? From being taunted by Vickie Guerrero to being the catalyst for Team Hell No’s dysfunctional relationship, Miss Lee has had a lot to contend with. Not only this, but we’ve seen AJ knock the living daylights out of Kaitlyn many times, not to mention be rude to her in front of Christopher J Stephenson, the cheek! The Geek Goddess is more than slightly mentally unstable and who knows, maybe she did it just to give the Division the kick up the backside it needed!
Name: Paige
Previous Convictions: Having a finisher capable of murder; beating up her own mother, even if she did deserve it!
Case Notes: Paige is the definition of a wild card choice yet who wouldn’t love to see Hell in Boots arrive in the most controversial of style? Maybe Eve was in cahoots with her as the British Anti-Diva has a troubled past with Layla that we don’t yet know about? Paige debuting is a long shot but in-case she does, I’ll dream up some potential storylines that could link the Enchanting Raven Haired Lady and Layla to one-another. Maybe Layla could be a distant relative of Paige’s? Could Paige be the daughter Layla secretly adopted? Has Layla stolen Paige’s man? The possibilities are endless and I just want Paige on WWE TV as soon as!
Go to next page for our sublimely ridiculous…
