A lot of fans, myself included, were absolutely horrified at the hot mess that was the Victory Road pay-per-view. The Knockouts match had one shit-tastic ending and I don’t know about you, but I made the decision then and there to write TNA off. It’s hard enough to watch it these days anyway, but when you end a title match in such a ridiculous fashion, it’s enough to turn a fan off for good. Fortunately, my Diva Dirt duties require me to watch the KO action every Thursday and wow! I’m super glad I had to do just that this week. In addition to a pretty good match, we got a massive segment featuring the new champ, the Beautiful People, and that not so mysterious mystery biker chick. I know it’s probably hard for all of y’all to fathom that Impact was actually a good watch, but believe me it is. I even double checked it myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. The proof lies within the confines of this Write-Up so stop wasting your time reading this pointless introduction and watch the videos!
skip ahead to 5:40
The Knockouts waste no time getting down to business tonight. Sarita and Taylor Wilde are shown backstage, and according to Taz, the ladies are scheduled to meet in a street fight later on tonight. It seems like both girls have decided to start the match early, because Sarita slams Taylor into one of the backstage walls. The fight is on and Sarita is basically dominating it. She’s screaming at Taylor that she’s finally getting rid of the dead weight, and that now, everything is going to be about her. Taylor takes several stiff shots, but she fights back hard. She gets Sarita down and begins to punch and choke her. Sarita is back up soon enough and the fight spills into another part of the backstage area. Sarita throws Taylor into several walls, and eventually Taylor is able to muscle Sarita off of her. The ex-Knockouts Champ throws Sarita into a door and takes off. She’s seemingly searching for some type of weapon, but comes away empty-handed. That brings Taylor back to a waiting Sarita. The sexy brunette takes her turn bouncing off the wall, and then gets knocked into a piece of equipment. While Sarita is doubled over, Taylor starts to beat on her. Sarita is able to gain the advantage back and she starts telling Taylor that she has always been better than her, and that everyone knows it. Taylor is thrown into a piece of backstage furniture, and then kicked down to the ground.
Taylor bounces back up and grabs a steel pipe, which she swings wildly. Sarita, thankfully, ducks and the pipe slams into the wall above Sarita’s head. Sarita gets up and kicks Taylor away, but the blonde grabs a chair and starts to smack her former tag team partner with it. Sarita is momentarily stopped by this, but it doesn’t last long. She overpowers Taylor and throws her into the photo shoot area. Taylor has her head slammed into the ground and Sarita gets down with her. She finally locks Taylor into a submission move and starts bitching at her some more.
So of course Impact goes to commercial break.
Upon it’s return, the fight between Taylor and Sarita has made it’s way into the Impact Zone. In TNA land, that makes the match official. Taylor whips Sarita into the stands, then follows it up by grabbing Sarita by the hair and running towards the ring. The momentum carries both women and Sarita ends up flipping out of the audience and landing right in front of the ring. Taylor goes looking for a chair and once she gets her hands on it, she slams it into the ground. Sarita comes flying at her, but Taylor is ready. Sarita ends up taking an absolutely vicious chair shot to the skull and she’s obviously down at the present time. Taylor shows no mercy and gets right up in Sarita’s face. She tells her off and rightfully so. But Sarita is crafty and she reaches under the ring and produces a bottle of water. The bottle of water ends up drenching Taylor, as well as the fans in the front row, and because it got in her eyes, Taylor starts to stumble around. Sarita scurries underneath the ring and when Taylor finally regains her focus, she’s unable to locate her former best friend.
The crowd attempts to help Taylor, but she’s either deaf or ignoring them. She runs around trying to find Sarita, unaware that Sarita has come out from underneath the ring. Sarita stalks her pray, then attacks Taylor from behind. She ends up on the ground and on the receiving end of a pretty decent beating. She’s eventually able to fight back and she begins to wail on Sarita. Sarita fights back and finally takes two handfuls of hair and drives Taylor’s face into the ring steps. Sarita uses the free time she’s created for herself to heckle the crowd and Taylor, and pull up the mat that surrounds the ring. With the concrete exposed, the fight has taken a dangerous turn and Taylor is now fighting back against Sarita for all that she’s worth. Both women take each other down to the ground, but it’s Sarita that’s able to get up first and she brings her opponent up with her. She places Taylor in a position to be slammed into the concrete, but Taylor is able to reverse and brings Sarita down with what appears to be a modified neckbreaker.
Taylor plays to the crowd and they sort of rally behind her. She charges at Sarita and nails her with a knee to the gut. After that, Sarita is forced to eat a face full of the ring apron. Sarita attempts to crawl into the ring a few times, but each time, Taylor pulls her down and chops her without mercy. Sarita finally nails Taylor in the stomach with her boot and this time she successfully stands on the apron. She runs and flies off at almost the same time Taylor picks up a chair and tosses it in the air. Sarita’s body collides with the steel of the chair and she crumples to the ground in an immense amount of pain. Taylor brings Sarita up by the hair and whips her forward into the ring post. To make matters worse, Sarita finds her lower back crushed into the guardrail and eventually she flies over the top of it and into the crowd thanks to a Taylor Wilde dropkick.
Sarita is somehow able to find the inner strength to pick herself up and in the process, she jacks some fan’s purse. When Taylor lumbers towards her, Sarita uses the purse strap to choke her former friend and eventually Taylor ends up hanging there and passing out. The referee calls for the bell and the victory is awarded to Sarita. The crowd is not thrilled with this, but Sarita is and she celebrates like she just won the World Cup!
skip ahead to 2:08
The Knockout action isn’t over either because later on that night, Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich are seen standing in their locker room. Velvet is absolutely livid over something and Lacey is trying to tell her to calm down. Her words fall on deaf ears because Velvet slams some things around in her locker, checks her hair and make-up in the tag team belt, and then gets up in Lacey’s face. She says she will not calm down because Madison, more or less, has been getting out of hand. She doesn’t appreciate the fact that Madison has been all high and mighty lately, and acting like Velvet and Lacey don’t even exist. Further more, Velvet claims that she is furious over the fact that Madison had the gall to bring a fourth person into their group without even consulting them. Lacey, the voice of reason, tells Velvet that they need to listen to Madison’s side of the story because they have been with her forever and they at least owe her that much. Velvet scoffs and says that she will listen to Madison’s side of the story, sure, but when Madison is done, Velvet plans on adding an exclamation point to it. She asks Lacey if she wants to know what that exclamation point is and Lacey gets excited and says yes, of course she does. Velvet screams that it’s going to be her foot right up Madison’s ass and Lacey’s face falls. She knew better than to ask that. Velvet storms off and Lacey trails behind her. Impact cuts away from the Knockouts and eventually goes to commercial break.
When it comes back, former Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne is standing in the ring dressed in street clothes with a microphone in her hand. Madison says that she is out here in the ring to formally protest the decision made by referee Andrew Thomas at Victory Road this past Sunday. She says he stripped her of her Knockouts title. Madison says that the stipulation clearly stated that if either member of the Beautiful People, as in Velvet or Lacey, interfered on her behalf then she would be disqualified and Angelina would become the new champion. Madison pauses before screaming that that didn’t happen. She says that TNA has seven days from right now to reverse the decision and award her back the Knockouts Championship or she would sue TNA for every penny that it was worth (not much, Mad).
The Beautiful People’s music hits and Velvet and Lacey make their way down to the ring. Velvet is already screaming at Madison, and Lacey just looks upset. Velvet grabs a microphone and she basically has a mental breakdown. She gets right up in Madison’s face and demands to know what the hell Madison was thinking by bringing in a new member without their approval. Madison turns her face away, but Velvet jerks it back towards her eliciting gasps from the crowd. Madison screams at Velvet to relax and then tells her that she’s been taking her dumb blonde pills again. Madison, who looks so super short compared to Velvet and Lacey in this segment, says she did what she had to do in order to keep her title. Velvet fires back that Madison must have overdosed on her dumb blonde pills because this is about more than just Madison refusing to consult with the other Beautiful People. Velvet said the bigger picture is about the fact that Madison said she didn’t need the other girls anymore. Velvet wants her to explain that.
Madison gets a snarky look on her face and starts to talk in a valley girl voice. She says that she doesn’t need the Beautiful People and she slams her finger in Velvet’s chest while saying it. Then, in a sugary sweet voice no less, she tells Velvet to pick any of those words and Madison will explain their meaning to her. Lacey looks like she is about to cry at this point and Velvet brushes off the spot where Madison just jabbed her like it was now diseased. Velvet steps back and says it’s fine that Madison doesn’t need her. And since Madison doesn’t need her, how about she just kicks Madison’s ass all over the ring. The fans erupt and Lacey steps in the middle of Madison and Velvet, who are both ready to fight. While they’re arguing, new Knockouts Champion, Angelina Love, comes out to the ring. She looks highly amused by the turn of events and who can blame her?
Angelina has a microphone and she says she doesn’t really know what’s worse; the bitches who act on The Hills or the bitches who are acting in the ring. All three BP members turn to stare at her and if looks could kill, Angelina would have died right then and there. Angelina says that Kim Kardashian is basically an Oscar winner compared to the three Beautiful People. Angelina turns her attention to Velvet and says that she isn’t buying the lies that Velvet has been spinning. Angelina says she knows it was Velvet riding that motorcycle because she would know those big fake boobs anywhere. Velvet is in disbelief that Angelina actually thinks it was her on that bike. She says that she has never been so insulted in her entire life than right now and asks everyone if they happened to see the dumpy ass on that person. Velvet sticks her ass out and motions to it, and says that clearly it wasn’t her. Velvet then throws her hands up and says that it’s fine if people want to believe that it’s her. She points at Madison and tells Angelina that the bitch is hers and gets out of the ring. Lacey isn’t sure what to do at this point, so she finally follows Velvet. Velvet stops in front of Angelina and the two have a heated staredown. Velvet tells Angelina to get her butt in the ring and take care of business and then she disappears backstage. Lacey has paused and is looking between Madison and Velvet, not sure what to do. Angelina stares her down as well and makes her way to the ring.
Madison starts screaming at Angelina to get in the ring and give her back her title. Angelina takes her time and then adds insult to injury by mocking her former friend. Madison starts screeching into the microphone and Angelina tells her that if she wants it so bad, she can just come and take it. Madison lashes out and strikes at Angelina, which catches the champ off guard. Madison stands her ground and tells Angelina to give her the belt back right now. Angelina replies with a spear. She begins beating the hell out of Madison! Madison is full of fight tonight and she gives it back as good as she gets it. The two girls are rolling around in the ring exchanging some wicked looking shots when the mystery woman comes out on her bike. The camera shows Lacey, who is standing there like a pretty little picture looking shocked and confused. The mystery woman gets off her motorcycle and goes into the ring. She picks up Angelina and throws her off Madison. Madison takes off out of the ring and the mystery woman throws Angelina into the corner and starts to choke her. Madison returns with a chair and lays it out all nice and neat. She tells the woman to give her Angelina, and Madison drags her enemy over towards the chair. Angelina ends up planted on the chair via a DDT, and the camera gets a close-up of Lacey’s wide-eyed terror. Madison and the mystery woman exit the ring and ride off together on the bike for the second time in a row.
At least we know now it’s definitely not a Beautiful Person.
The Good: For once, there’s a lot to write in this section and I’m really excited by that! Impact kicked off in great fashion for the Knockouts with the backstage brawl featuring Sarita and Taylor. Like many, I’m baffled as to why TNA seems to be dissolving the KO tag team division but it’s led to increased television time for Sarita and Taylor. Their backstage brawl and fight into the Impact Zone was pretty good. I loved that Sarita ended the match by choking out Taylor with some fan’s purse strap. If I had been that fan, I would have been pissed. But that’s because I carry a Coach purse and it doesn’t have straps, it has handles. But still. I loved that it was a blatant shot at the ‘E, especially when Taz chimed in that in other companies, people get fired for choking an opponent. It was great. Taylor looked completely destroyed at the end and it’s so, so great to see Sarita get this kind of airtime and push. I love her as a heel and this street fight was pretty darn good. I think some spots were slow and sloppy, but overall it was a great match by both ladies. I can’t wait to see them both go at it in an actual wrestling match and here’s hoping it gets a huge build.
The backstage segment between Lacey and Velvet was just a joy to watch. I don’t hide the fact I’m a converted Lacey mark and she just lit my world up on this particular day. She looked stunning on camera and the fact she’s the one stuck in the middle of this feud makes my heart skip a beat. Who doesn’t want to see a Beautiful People custody battle for Lacey? She did her best to calm Velvet down, but like usual, Velvet was wound up and didn’t want to hear it. She got in Lacey’s face and basically declared Madison as public enemy number one. When she shouted that Madison was going to get up with Velvet’s foot up her ass, I cheered! This is vintage Knockout action! (Yeah, I went there.) When Velvet stormed off, poor Lacey had no other choice but to follow.
That led to one of the more memorable Knockout segments in recent memory. Madison took to the ring to demand that TNA reinstate her championship reign. She ripped them a new one and threatened to sue the company. Velvet and Lacey finally made their way to the ring and Velvet turned the tables on Madison and ripped her a new one. What Velvet lacks in ring skills, she makes up for in promo cutting ability. The girl is great on the mic and her acting skills are amazing. I really did feel her anger last night. Madison stepped up her game too. She’s come into her own during this push of hers and it’s been nice to see a new Knockout develop into a major player. Once again, Lacey stood out to me because she had to stand there and listen to this. These are her two best friends in the entire world and the hurt written across her face during the segment was just impeccable. I loved every bit of this.
Angelina’s amusement over the BP in-fighting was spot on. Why would she not love it? These girls kicked her to the curb and washed their hands of her. It’s karmatic justice for Angelina Love to sit back and enjoy the slow destruction of the Beautiful People, one member at a time. We all knew their egos would end up getting the better of them one day. And that finally happened last night. It was brilliant and for the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to Impact next week. Can you believe this is so upbeat and happy? I can’t! Man, I don’t know what to do right now. I’m not going to question TNA’s booking staff or writers this week. I’m totally gunna brush off the fact that I’m still bothered by Tara aligning with Madison. We all know it’s Tara. Come on now! I’m just going to go with it and maybe, just maybe I will allow myself to have a small, minuscule amount of hope that this type of KO coverage continues.
Come on, JBL Wrestling God! Don’t let me down.
