Believe it or not, we, the esteemed Diva Dirt staff, operate under rules and guidelines, and most importantly, we have deadlines. Granted, I usually throw two of the three out the window on a weekly basis when I consistently praise Prince Dolph for his overwhelming hotness and launch into pointless conversations with myself over which guy is hotter, but I’m very OCD when it comes to the whole deadline thing. And this week, I’m kind of stressing over this whole deadline. Up until about 30 minutes ago, I was completely oblivious to the fact Prince Dolph had his own YouTube show. I think each and every single one of you know exactly what that means. I said to hell with life and trolled YouTube for that very show. The four episodes I watched were beautiful. It didn’t even bother me that our Prince was blatantly sexist and dropped the line: “Men rule everything.” He could gladly rule me, so before I cross that PG line, let’s just talk about why what I’m rambling about now is relevant to what happened on Raw last night.
The absolutely insane Zack Ryder/Eve Torres/John Cena love triangle took another dramatic turn that has ignited nothing but controversy. People are slamming it for it’s hypocritical nature due to the Be a STAR campaign. Other people, myself included, are praising it as the best opening to Raw ever. And to me, it was. When you watch World Wrestling ENTERTAINMENT you have to view it as just that: entertainment. The storylines are outlandish and are constructed by a writing team to resemble a ridiculous soap opera. Last night, that continued in a twist that shocked the hell out of me, and certainly didn’t make the feminist inside of me rage. In fact, there’s really not much of a feminist inside of me. I’ll rock out to Celine Dion (much like I am now), Alanis, and Melissa Etheridge, but you can believe that if a hot band boy were to shove his CD in my hands, I’d turn my music off, flash him a smile, and listen to it with him. That’s just how I am. And call me crazy, but I LOVED the angle on Raw last night. Hey, if I shared a steamy kiss with John Cena, I’d certainly want more of it.
And I certainly wouldn’t burn my bra over the angle either. What a waste of a perfectly good Victoria‘s Secret push-up. I mean, seriously! Anyway, lets take a look at Eve in all her crazy heel glory, and see exactly why people are so up in arms over what went down last night on Raw!
Before we could even get the actual show started last night, Eve was shown backstage talking to Brie and Nikki Bella (who would be in action later on in the night). The Bellas, to their credit, didn’t seem too impressed with Eve’s actions last week towards the lovable Zack Ryder. They called her out on it, and you know that when the Bella Twins call you out on something evil, you’ve done something pretty bad. Shockingly enough, Eve didn’t seem to show any remorse. In fact, she dropped an uber bombshell and told both twins that she had absolutely no regrets and to be honest, she never had any feelings for Zack anyway. She was just using him to get her name out there and now she was moving on to the top star in the company. The Bellas seemed repulsed, and rightfully so. What kind of a trollop uses two hot men to further her career? As if.
(I have it on good authority that later on that night the Bellas were very angry that Eve stole their gimmick. They’re worried they will never score Alberto Del Rio and those luxury cars now.)
Eve then went on to reveal that she was going to see John Cena and that she wanted the Bellas to video tape it. She had her phone ready to record and all that, but as she turned around, lo and behold, there was Cena. And apparently he heard every word. Judging from the look on his face, he didn’t seem too happy to hear that Eve wanted to use him. Eve was stunned speechless. The Bellas just seemed amused.
Cut to the official Raw opening, and cue Cena’s music. He comes to the ring and he’s got something to say. But someone else decides to walk to the ring as well. And that someone is Eve.
Like sands through the hourglass…
O-M-G.
Hoeski. Eve crying and being escorted out of the ring. The fact she literally tried to shove herself on him right then and there. Words can’t even describe it. It was everything a slutty heel gimmick should be and then some. Do I care that it makes Eve look bad? Hell no. What I care about is that some of the greatest Divas of all time have been given this same gimmick and ran with it. That’s all Eve did last night and the fact one simple heel turn has evoked so much emotion from the fans and the wrestling community should speak volumes. People are talking about Eve. It’s not all positive, no. But when people aren’t speaking about you at all, that’s when you have a problem. When people sit on their hands and have no reaction to you, that’s a problem. Like it or not, Eve is super over right now and she’s following in the footsteps of Stephanie McMahon, Trish Stratus, and Lita – all women who have been branded as sluts, whores, and hoes – over the course of their respective careers. I can’t believe Eve has gotten this push but I love every single second of it, and personally, I can’t wait to see how she rebounds from it.
I think I plainly stated in my Diva Dirt profile that my dream gimmick would be using John Cena and blackmailing him in order to get to the top of the WWE so I could start my own stable of hot men wrestlers, and Eve is living my dream. I’m jealous. I’m hating her. I’m living vicariously through her. WWE is a soap opera. That’s how they portray themselves. Eve is getting paid to play this role much like Alison Sweeney gets paid to play the conniving, scheming, loveable, cheating, and sometimes downright slutty Sami Brady Hernandez (previously Reed, Walker, Roberts, DiMera) on Days of Our Lives. It’s no different and I personally don’t take it seriously because it’s the WWE and it’s just acting.
Anyway, there was also a match which I alluded too earlier. The Bellas took on the most random team ever in the form of Kelly Kelly and Aksana.
For me personally, this match was pointless, but I can’t find it in myself to hate it. As random as it was, it wasn’t bad, just really short. Aksana, whom I probably haven’t seen wrestle since NXT looks as if she’s improved. I wasn’t exactly digging her ring gear, but she looks fantastic with black hair. Kelly, on the other hand, should wear that black gear more often. She looked amazing and it was good to see her on Raw again. I’ve missed my 2K! The Bellas winning was a nice treat. I love these girls so much and I want them to get more of a spotlight. I’ll take this short little victory and hope that it leads into better things.
That said, what I would have rather had on Raw was some type of follow-up from the Elimination Chamber. Beth and Tamina put on a hell of a match on Sunday and it needed to be brought up in some capacity. I am a patient woman, however, and if they some type of angle on SmackDown, I’ll be okay with that too.
All in all, I enjoyed Raw tonight. The continuing evolution of Eve Torres as a character has me hooked even if the creative staff did steal my gimmick and give it to her. Now, if her theme music suddenly changes to “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry, I might have to ask some questions…
Until next time!
