It’s here! The day we’ve been waiting for all… week? Snooki of the Jersey Shore made her long awaited and highly anticipated WWE debut as a guest host last night. Oh yeah, and someone named Trish Stratus — you may have heard of her — had a match against Vickie Guerrero. But that’s not why you’re reading this, right?! You want to hear about all the hard-hitting Snooki action, so let’s get right into it, shall we?
First we have a backstage segment featuring Snooki and Vickie with Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison playing supporting roles. Let’s see how the drama unfolds:
The segment starts off with Snooki and JoMo chatting backstage for some reason. I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying, but I’m assuming they were comparing spray tans. Right as Snooki offers Morrison a spot in the Jersey Shore house, Vickie and Dolph make their entrance. Vickie tells the ‘Princess of the Poof’ to keep her hands off of Dolph. Confused, Snooki asks Vickie what her problem is and Vickie tells her that Snooki getting the cover of Rolling Stone is her problem. Vickie goes on to say that she was offered the cover of Playboy, prompting Snooki to make a predictable crack on Vickie’s weight. (Insert pot and kettle joke here).
Offended, Vickie goes to slap Snooki, but Snooki blocks it and lays Vickie out with a slap of her own. Ouch. John Morrison quickly rushes Snooki away, leaving Vickie to stew in her rage and punch poor Dolph in the chest.
Not a terrible segment to be quite honest. I was expecting much, much worse. Also, Snooki’s slap looked like it hurt like hell. Guess she was taking out some of pent up anger from that time she got punched in the face…
Next up, we have Trish vs Vickie and if Vickie wins, she gets a spot on the Raw roster. But first… MORE SNOOKI!!! Aren’t you excited?! Check out the match below:
Snooki makes her way to the ring first and tells everyone how excited she is to be the guest host of Raw and to see Trish Shatus Stratus shut Vickie Guerrero up. After pandering some more to the crowd, Snooki leaves the ring and makes her way ringside to watch the match.
Vickie makes her way to the ring next and Justin Roberts announces that this match will be No DQ. Hmm… I smell shenanigans. Vickie gets on the mic and says she WILL beat Trish tonight, before setting her sights on Snooki. Vickie reads off a checklist of issues she has with Snooki, which culminates with Snooki’s Rolling Stone cover popping up on the titantron. It’s all starting to make sense now…
Vickie goes on to say that Snooki stole her cover and shows what the original cover looked like, which got a good laugh out of me. Vickie finishes off by saying that she really is a good person. Heartwarming to say the least.
Out next is Trish, who is looking fantastic, by the way. The referee signals for the bell and this dream match is underway. Before Trish can lock up with her opponent, Vickie stops her and decides to do some warm-up exercises. Vickie makes the mistake of turning her back and Trish takes advantage with a school boy for a 1 count. Vickie tries for a kick to the gut, but Trish blocks it and piefaces her to the mat. Vickie tries to crawl away, but loses a shoe in the process. Vickie runs around the ring but Trish cuts her off, forcing her her to enter the ring again.
Back in the ring, Vickie retrieves her shoe and uses it as a fencing foil to fend off Trish. How clever!!! When that fails, she throws the shoe at Trish, who easily dodges. Vickie takes off her other shoe and goes on the attack, but Trish levels her with a kick to the gut. With Vickie down, Trish grabs her lost shoe and proceeds to spank her with it, prompting Dolph to make the save for his woman. Before Dolph can do anything else to interfere in the match, JoMo runs out and takes him out of the equation.
Trish turns her attention back to Vickie, but is interrupted by Lay-Cool. Trish tries to fight them both off, but she falls victim to the numbers game and is laid out with a vicious kick from Michelle. Vickie immediately rushes over and covers Trish for the win and a spot on the Raw roster.
Lay-Cool and Vickie proceed to take picture over the fallen Trish Stratus, before Michelle notices Snooki is still ringside. Michelle gets in Snooki’s face and shoves her (insert random fan: “Hell naw!”) and goes back to celebrate. Unfortunately for McCool, Snooki is not having it. Snooki jumps out of her seat and pulls Michelle off of the ring apron, before hitting a surprisingly decent Thesz press on Layla. Michelle tries to help but Trish takes her out as well.
In other news, Snooki was apparently trying to steal Layla’s boots. Classy.
Vickie manages to escape the wrath of Trish and Snooki, and promises revenge on the grandest stage of the all: WrestleMania! Vickie announces that it will be Lay-Cool and Dolph vs Snooki, Trish and JoMo. (Sorry, Kelly Kelly. Better luck next year!)
To be honest, this segment wasn’t as bad the second time around as it was initially… but it was still pretty hard to watch. As expected, the match was mostly comedy and had interference from Lay-Cool. I thought the interaction between Lay-Cool and Trish was good, and I can’t wait to see more. Also, Snooki’s Thesz press was amusing on several levels. Aside for that, I didn’t take much from the match. As for the WrestleMania match, I won’t go into my feelings on that here, because I can go on for days. Let’s just say I’m not exactly jumping for joy.
All in all, a middle of the road night for Raw for the Divas, in my honest opinion. With less than three weeks left until ‘Mania, I sincerely hope WWE can scrape together another Diva match, because it’s not looking great for the ladies so far.
