Well, now that we’ve gotten past that pesky Divas Championship Tournament, it’s time to set the division back several years and have a good old fashioned pajama pillow fight. Of course, this is in keeping with this week’s guest GMs, Cheech and Chong, not that their names are synonymous with pajamas or pillow fights. I’m just guessing the Divas sitting in a circle and passing around a bong wouldn’t have been in keeping with their PG rating. But of course, the Divas looking all jailbait-y while bouncing up and down and fighting with pillows is totally PG, right? Shh.. it’s not supposed to make sense.
Speaking of sense, it’s fantastic that the WWE is starting off Women’s History Month with a sufficiently degrading match. Nothing like celebrating the accomplishments and advancement of women like making them boner-fodder for Cheech and Chong. And it’s only March 1st, people! There’s a whole month left! I can only hope a water balloon fight is next.
Watch the “match” below:
Guest GMs Cheech and Chong come to the ring, make a few jokes about how high they are, and introduce the Divas. The babyfaces come first, with Kelly Kelly leading out Gail Kim and Eve Torres. Next, appropriately, they introduce the heels as “the.. other ones!”. The other ones (also known as Maryse [I wouldn’t bring the Divas Title out for this shitfest either, girl], Alicia Fox, and Jillian) make their way to the ring. I kinda of appreciate how serious Alicia looks. With something as silly and degrading as this, it kind of takes the sting out to see the heels show how “over” this they are. Cheech and Chong seat themselves in recliners at ringside.
Maryse takes a long moment to pose for the crowd, and the rest of the Divas gang up on her. Soon this alliance breaks down and Jillian just decides to clothesline everyone. I admire her tenacity–while everyone else looks silly fighting with down feathers, she just decides to mow everyone over. She then pounds every Diva with a pillow and belts out a celebratory high note. Kelly stuffs her pillow in her face to stop the sound and hits a sloppy looking K2–bare feet don’t provide the best traction, after all. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out at 2.
Maryse then attacks Kelly and hits the French Kiss, going for a pin of her own. Gail goes to break the pin with a pillow attack but Maryse moves, allowing Gail to hit Kelly instead. Eve and Gail team up on Maryse a bit before Gail hits her with a modified neckbreaker, attempting a pin. Eve breaks it with her pillow, but Gail understands, and they turn around right into a double clothesline from Alicia. She hits Gail with the pillow a few times, actually swinging the damn thing and doing some damage. Gail turns the table and hits a sloppy Eat Defeat (I’d imagine the bunny slippers made Alicia lose her footing). Before she can go for the pin, Eve dropkicks her out of the ring and hits her somersault splash, pinning Alicia for the win. Eve celebrates while Cheech and Chong, fittingly, look like they couldn’t give a damn.
I guess it’s fitting that, after a tournament that so thoroughly demonstrated the Raw writers’ lack of interest, we get something as lame as this. It’s been a while, I think, since we’ve had a full-on T&A match, so I guess we were due, but it’s still embarrassing and pointless as hell. The fans clearly don’t give a shit, so I don’t know what the point of it is. It certainly doesn’t fit into the WWE’s “PG” image, so I guess it was just an excuse to get the Divas onto the show without much investment or planning while giving the guest GMs some screen time. It seems pointless to complain at this point, but you can’t ignore that the Raw Divas division seems to be going even further into the toilet with each week. Maybe an actual feud over Maryse’s title could help bring back some integrity to the division. I can only hope that will happen next week, but that will likely be sacrificed in favor of a titillating pointless illusion performed by next week’s guest host, Criss Angel. A “woman cut in half” trick, anyone? Maybe they should just cut the Divas Championship in half instead–it’s not like it’s worth much at this point.
Food for thought: What is the least degrading type of T&A match, in your opinion?
