Good evening ladies and gents, and *in my finest 2006 Maryse bathtub video voice* welcome back… to Fri-a-day Night Smackdown! Unfortunately, Steven was not able to make it to the party today for he bumped into Ashley Massaro walking around New York and the two met up to discuss her habit of no-showing events. Needless to say, he’s still not reported back yet and so we’re forced to assume she’s gotten into his brain that no-showing is okay, but it’s not. It’s really not! (Jokes… Steven is at work and I’m just trying to come up with a fun story to keep everyone interested. Hopefully he doesn’t snap at me.)
Filling in for him today will be none other than me, Bobby, which I know sparks an immediate “Who?” from a lot of you. That’s perfectly okay as I like to think of myself as the JTG of Diva Dirt. I’m not in the forefront as much anymore (although that was per my request and I don’t think his was), but I’m still here and hoping you all haven’t forgotten about the good times we’ve had together in the past. And of course, if you haven’t… you know I have a problem trying to get to the point of a recap and/or article because I posses the tendency to babble rather uncontrollably. I promise I’m stopping now, so let’s get into the SmackDown festivities!
Tonight is the final night on the road to TLC, where AJ Lee will meet Natalya for the Divas Championship in a match I’ve very excited for. To celebrate, WWE is granting us a tag team match pitting the skip-centric sweetheart and her bodyguard, Tamina Snuka against Brie and Nikki of The Bella Twins. Not only that, but Natalya will be joining the commentary team (who can rename nameless as they are inferior to her). Without any further ado, let’s get underway before I bust out an NXT Redemption reference because you should all know that it’s nearly 2014 and I’ve still yet to forgive this company of their treatment to my prized jewel.
We start the video off with Big E Langston and the only shirt he seemingly owns running to the back for reasons I’m unsure of as I have yet to see SmackDown. I’m going to believe that since he and Kaitlyn seem friendly on Twitter, it’s because he’s outraged at her lack of TV time and is hunting down Vince McMahon or Stephanie McMahon to discuss the rage built up inside of me… err, him. But soon after that, AJ and Tamina are seen walking to the ring and I’m immediately dreading what’s to come. You guys probably don’t know this yet since I haven’t recapped in a while, but in addition to my arch rival, Maria Menounos, she has found a tag team partner to share my disgust in that of Tamina’s jacket. You see, every match she takes that thing off and whacks someone with it and for some reason it infuriates me. I just want a Diva to kick it back in her face to put a stop to this madness because I can’t take anymore! And so I’m afraid that I’m about to mercifully scream but we’ll see. Surprise me Bella Twins!
We hit the ring as AJ and Tamina slide into it. Meanwhile, our Bellas don’t get an entrance… but they DO get to pose with their Slammy so I guess that makes up for it. Nattie is on commentary claiming TLC will be one of her biggest matches ever, while we get a graphic to promote it. The bell sounds as Snuka starts off with Nikki (who I thank every day for finally switching up gears from Brie and making recaps 100x easier). She slams Nikki down and hits a shot at Brie, but that moment costs her as Nikki takes control with a few blows and a headscissors! Vivaaaaa La Bella, keep that black clad Diva down so she can’t remove the jacket of terror.
Suddenly AJ runs in and I don’t know why, but Nikki doesn’t seem to care as she hops atop the Divas champ and goes to town on her. Tamina throws her back and starts kicking… YES! God bless you cameraman. She looks to be removing her vest, but we cut to a shot of Natalya and return to see Snuka vestless and hitting a suplex. This now begs the age old question, if nobody (sans the live crowd) sees or hears Tamina smack a Bella with her clothing, did it really happen? I’m going to say no and just continue to thank whoever decided we would cut to Natalya’s shining face.
Tamina with a few kneestrikes and a Samoan Drop, while commentary plugs the Bella Twins Slammy win. In comes AJ now, who skips around Nikki and goes for a failed pin. Lee locks in a submission, but Nikki fights out as Brie rallies her sister on to make the tag, which she does! Clothesline! Dropkick! Dropkick! Dropkick to Tamina! She fires up the crowd and hits a running boot, followed by a missile dropkick for a two as Tamina breaks it up. Nikki runs in to even the odds and the twins kick Snuka out. Unfortunately for them, AJ then shoves Brie into Nikki and locks in the Black Widow! The hand starts swinging, signifying a tap out win for the team of Tamina and AJ. Soon after, the two stare off against the #1 contender in Natalya, as we ready for a fight of our lives come TLC!
Thoughts: I finally get to have a lot to say since I’ve been absent for a bit, so let’s start off with the match which I personally found pretty enjoyable. Do I think it’ll be something that I’ll remember in a year? Probably not. But to be honest part of that is because we’ve seen Brie, Nikki, Tamina and AJ face off in so many combinations of matches that they can tend to blur together. That doesn’t mean I’m saying they’re bad or anything, just very frequent. The action was solid, and I continue to love face Bellas in terms of ring work. They and AJ are the Divas I wish could all be faces as I just find them to be a lot more exciting when they can bust out flashy moves in comparison to being restricted to a submission based arsenal.
Speaking of the Bellas, how great is it that they’re finally being allowed to differentiate themselves? They have unique personalities and differ quite a bit as we’ve seen on Total Divas, so it’s about time WWE is letting them show it on TV. Brie being the firecracker who can go crazy with flashy moves and Nikki taking on a more powerhouse approach works wonders. Does Brie hit a lot of dropkicks? Yes. But dammit, when they look as good as hers do, hit every one you want because I ain’t mad at it. Brie should just hit them to everyone who claims she does too many and prove why she is 1/2 of the Diva(s) of the Year as Mama Bella and I stand to the side applauding her screaming “That’s Our Girl!” (Although I mean that as me being a fan and Mama Bella being their mama… I realized right after typing it that that could be read as me saying I’m Brie’s parent as well and I want to clear the air and say that I’m not. This has taken a strange turn now, so let’s move on.)
Even though I give Tamina grief for her jacket throwing, I’m incredibly happy she has finally found a role that fits and is seeing more TV time. Her ring work is improving the more she gets to be out there and she truly does play the badass bodyguard pretty well. I know their shtick of Tamina doing the work and AJ tagging in to lock in the Black Widow doesn’t please everybody, but I kind of like it because it does fit something believable. Tamina is this serious, big figure compared to the other Divas, whereas AJ is seen is small and tiny. It helps to give them something unique to do in matches where we may only get two minutes of action, and so I’m all for it even though it didn’t happen to the effect tonight that it usually does since we saw AJ do a bit more than just tagging in at the end.
I felt Natalya was better on commentary this week than she usually is, but I don’t blame her for not being to the level of an AJ or Summer Rae when it comes to talking for a long period of time. We’re not all perfect in a speaking role, and I feel like that with some people (like myself), it’s just difficult to think of what to say next in situations where all eyes are on you so to speak, and so your sentences don’t flow the greatest. I can speak from experience in doing speech presenting that it’s extremely nerve wracking for someone who isn’t comfortable being up there in the proverbial spotlight. If you’re not a natural, it can be obvious and sound rather wooden. In a way though, it also makes me relate to you because it’s something I’ve went through before so I identify with it in ways that some people who are naturals at it may not get and just keep wondering why everyone’s not perfect or poking fun at them. What I’m trying to say but have probably failed at, is that Natalya… I love you (not in a marriage way though, don’t come after me Tyson… I saw that episode of Total Divas) and think you’re great. Do I think you’re even greater as a heel? Yes. But you’re fun as a face and I’m excited to see you hopefully become Divas Champion (but can you just wait until the Royal Rumble so I can get AJ as a record holder? I still want you to win it, but please do this for me and I’ll babysit King Louis and Charlotte for you and Tyson one weekend because you know, I’m sure you want a random Diva Dirt writer to do this. I do live in South Florida though and have experience with cats, so it could happen! Don’t crush my dreams readers.)
Until next time if there is a next time,
Bobby
