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The Tiffany Guide to Impact: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

impact23july09

This week on Impact, the entire active Knockout roster competed in a battle royal for the prize of $50,000 and a chance to be part of the Main Event Mafia. Why the need of a referee for a battle royal, I’m not sure, but a recurrent Traci Brooks fills that quota.

At the first sound of the bell, the most glaring thing is that there is so much going on. I even had flashbacks of the Miss WrestleMania match with the absurdity and lack of entrances. Daffney gets eliminated first, and Awesome Kong tosses Madison Rayne out onto Daffney. In a bit of an overeaction, referee Slick Johnson cradles Madison and calls for help, shadows of their “interaction” last week.

The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky throw ODB over the top rope, but Cody Deaner breaks her fall. Shady Slick Johnson takes heed of this and sends him to the back. Sojourner Bolt is eliminated by Taylor Wilde, next. Velvet Sky makes an unsuccessful attempt at Victoria, who eliminates her with a kick to the face. Kevin Nash is spotted making his way to commentary as TNA cuts to commercial.

Read more and watch match after the cut:

Back on Impact, we see that during the break Taylor Wilde is eliminated.  Likewise, Alissa Flash is taken out by her adversary from last week, Sarita.

With a shot to the back, The Knockouts Champion, Angelina Love, is eliminated by ODB. The remaining knockouts then gang up on kong and throw her into the corner. Victoria charges at Kong but collides with the turnbuckle while Kong knocks ODB down to the mat. Kong then catches Sarita in mid air and slams her down.  Sarita avoids getting pushed out to the floor by Victoria. So, Victoria sets her up for the Widow’s Peak.  However, Kong kicks Victoria in the midsection, forcing her to dislodge her grip. Kong pulls Sarita back into the ring. Sarita counters and lands a slingshot dropkick onto Kong.  When that doesn’t take Kong down, Sarita charges at her, but falls victim to her own momentum, and Kong finally throws her out of the ring.

So, the bout comes down to Victoria and Awesome Kong. The two take the competition out by the ring ropes, but Traci Brooks sends both them over the top rope. Traci Brooks celebrates as the winner of $50,000 and as the newest member of Main Event Mafia.

Victoria and Kong take their brawl to the outside, but are separated by security. Victoria, still bitter about Victory Road outcome, attacks referee Slick Johnson with a slap and a low blow. Shady referee rolls out of the way when Poison comes to play.

I must say, the entire premise of the match is lost on me. I know Don West is booked to be a douche but his comment that this match “might be even more important than Knockouts Championship” really rubs me the wrong way. I have no idea how a chance to join the Main Event Mafia amounts to the Knockouts title despite the $50,000. I can understand putting out all the stops for the money, but I don’t exactly see women like Taylor Wilde, Victoria, and Sarita really vying for a spot in the Main Event Mafia. Which is why the basis comes off very odd.

To put a positive spin on this match, we got to see some Knockouts interact that we haven’t seen before. I thought the Victoria/Awesome Kong brawl at the end was interesting, and it very well be a set up for an impending feud.

Also, it makes sense for Traci Brooks to be the one to join the Main Event Mafia seeing as she is the “Original Knockout.” We’ll see how both Sharmell and Jenna react to having another female in the group. MEM seems to be handing out positions like candy. For some reason, that catchy NWO theme comes to mind…

Watch the match below:

KNOCKOUT BATTLE ROYAL

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE BACKSTAGE

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