I’m sure you’ve all heard of your ‘five a day’, but Diva Dirt is here to provide you with your ‘five a week’ in our Weekly 5. Join us every Sunday as we take a look back at the week gone by and highlight our top 5 moments of the week.
DON “JERRY SPRINGER” WEST ACTS A DAMN FOOL…
Every company, it seems has that one announcer you can’t stand and want to punch in the face. For TNA, that’s Don West. So why, TNA, would you torture us even more by giving him a Jerry Springer-esque segment in which he hosted Sharmell and Jenna Morasca [plus their trainers] ahead of tonight’s Victory Road pay per view? Jerry Springer, you ain’t. Mr West’s ass-kissing of Sharmell tried to come across like The King circa-1999, but fell flat. Adding to the Jerry Springer vibe was the war of words amongst our Knockouts, something tells me Sojo Bolt in particular would fit right in on an episode of Jerry…
Click in for #4-2 on our countdown:
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THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES VICTORIA‘S PET TARANTULA POISON
All that peroxide done gone got to the Beautiful People’s heads, as Angelina Love sports a beekeeper suit to protect herself from a spider. We then see a comedy skit with Victoria saying that her pet poison is already inside the suit, ensuing in ‘Carry On’-esque hilarity. I would’ve personally cranked the ‘slapstick’ up a notch by having Velvet spray her with the bug spray and Madison hit her with the broom to ‘help’, a little like those Home Alone movies where the bad guys try to help each other but just make matters worse.
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MARYSE HAS A SECRET IDENTITY
Maryse has an alter-ego a la Superman! Wrestling in her bikini gives her the super-strength and super-confidence it takes to finally step to Mickie James! Super-Maryse pinned her Night of Champions opponent during a special ‘Summer Swimsuit’ match. Now imagine what she could do naked?
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SPEAKING OF SUPERHERO MOVES…
Eve & Natalya saw in-ring competition on SmackDown and busted out some impressive superhero-like moves [sans the bikinis], taking two fairly known moves and adding their own unique spins on it. First was Eve’s was aerobatic handspring moonsault followed by Natalya’s thunderous clothesline. It was almost like watching a fight scene out of X-Men!
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SO THAT’S WHAT MELISSA LOOKS LIKE…
Cheerleader Melissa aka Raisha Saeed now Alissa Flash [confused yet?] finally took off the burkha and made a big splash on Impact in her ‘debut’ along with fellow newcomer, Sarita. The result? An exciting, impressive match that has had the Internet talking for the past three days. Their arrival is being seen as a new beginning for the Knockouts division, as they put on an intense match that has rejuvenated my interest in other aspects of the division other than Victoria.
– Read Tiffany’s Guide to Impact
So there you have it, your ‘five a week’… What say you? Share your thoughts in the comments & check back next week for more!
