Ohmygosh so basically Sunday’s episode of Total Divas confirmed three extremely important things. The first is that Daniel Bryan might very well be the biggest troll ever, not to mention a total tour bus Nazi. Jimmy Uso could be one of the horniest men to ever grace the planet. And last, but not least, a href=”http://www.diva-dirt.com/tag/summer-rae”>Summer Rae is the greatest cast addition in the history of reality television. Holy crap! So many iconic moments in last night’s episode that it’s almost impossible to pick a starting point.
I kind of just want to start this off with the hidden gem portion of this write up because basically the entire episode was a gem. As you can imagine the Braniel Bus continued to be the center of drama and controversy, despite Summer and Eva Marie high-tailing it out of there. Bowel movement and hormones reeked havoc and played with emotions, causing Daniel to show a side of his personality that we haven’t seen. He laid the law down to Natalya because she did the unthinkable when she decided to do number two on the bus. Now, in Nattie’s defense, DB probably wouldn’t have found out if Nattie hadn’t drawn attention to herself.
Let’s just say that when you get Icy Hot in your lady parts, that crap tends to burn like some kind of raging STD that just won’t go away…
But alas, Nattie didn’t suffer the wrath of Daniel Bryan alone. Jimmy Uso and Naomi endured a lecture for nearly having sex on the bus. To be fair, they probably wouldn’t have been caught had Jimmy just locked the door, but of course Brie Bella just happened to walk in while Naomi was topless. Naomi also got called out for wearing the same outfit three nights in a row. Who knew Daniel was so critical of fashion??
And speaking of critical Daniel, he had a few words for Cameron and her song that’s set to be released soon. He questioned the lyrics and what they were portraying and wanted to know if it was a good thing for young girls to listen to the message and be all about “the chingle, chingle…”
Oh Daniel. You gave me so much life in this episode that in the future I want more of you on television. If for nothing else, the fact that you just had to have real wood invitations for your upcoming wedding to Brie. Real wood invitations that cost $1200.00 because they had to be rushed. I cannot even.
I’m pretty sure it’s the upcoming wedding and all the details – such as finding the perfect wood for those real wood invitations (oak, cherry, perhaps some special organic wood that only grows in a non-endangered spot of the Brazillian rainforest) – that has Brie stressed out. I don’t see any other causes for our Queen to go bat sh*t crazy over the fact Summer Rae casually touched the future King, than stress. Brie got mighty overprotective when she found out that Summer went to Daniel when he was all alone and had a conversation with him because you know, women aren’t allowed to talk to men who are engaged. At least, women aren’t allowed to talk to Daniel Bryan because he is engaged to the Queen.
Summer “casually” went up to Daniel to ask his opinions on the rumors he heard about her, and towards the end of the conversation, she touched him on the shoulder in a flirtatious manner. That didn’t settle well with Brie, the mild-mannered Bella twin, and Nikki decided to fuel the raging fire that was burning within Brie when she told her that Summer had made inappropriate comments towards John Cena when he was in the weight room. Well that was all the prompting Brie needed to pull Summer aside and have a “conversation” with her. And by conversation, I mean Brie ripped the blond Diva apart verbally and it’s a wonder she didn’t just take Summer by the hair and throw her into the wall. It was that bad. Summer was left confused and dumbfounded, and all the while, Nikki and Daniel watched the confrontation from afar, amused and delighted at what they were seeing.
Note to all future Divas who end up on the main roster. Do yourself a favor and do not worry about Daniel Bryan’s opinion about you. EVER. Don’t look at him. Don’t blink at him. Don’t breath towards him. If you see him walking down the hallway just turn and go the opposite direction.
Phew.
Summer Rae, bless her heart, last night just wasn’t her night. But at least it ended pretty well for her. After going back and forth with Nattie the entire episode, and finally getting fed up when she caught her foe talking to Fandango, Summer decided to put an end to their back and forth once and for all.
After talking to Fandango, Summer made the decision to talk to Nattie about their issues away from work. During an off day and while she was on her way to NXT, Summer stopped off at Nattie’s house to see if she could squash their beef.
I’m not sure if any beef got squashed, but Nattie surely ended up getting her faced nearly slapped off when she threw some serious shade at Summer’s personal life. Oh it was bad. Calling Summer a stripper was bad, but the personal shot was worse, and honestly it kind of made me mad for Summer. There’s nothing wrong with being in your late twenties/early thirties and still being single. It just means that you’re living your life. You’re experiencing everything you possibly can before settling down because once you start popping our babies your options get limited for about 18 years. So I’ll be honest, I probably would have slapped Natalya too for that comment.
“GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”
Nattie, you’re an icon.
God I love this show so much. Thank you WWE, Divas, boyfriends, supporting cast members, and Sandra. Truly can’t wait to see what’s in store!!!
