What’s up Total Divas fans? Eleri here once again! This week saw the second season finale of Total Divas, and it brought the drama. Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan finally tied the knot in a gorgeous ceremony, meanwhile Nikki Bella‘s the one dealing with marital issues. Will she finally tell John Cena the truth? Or has JJ (ugh, excuse me while I barf) beat her to the punch?
Let’s find out!
The show opens in New Orleans, two days before Wrestlemania 30. Cameron and Vinnie have a nice little reunion that consists of the worst noise I have ever heard. Seriously. My dog started howling. According to Cameron, it’s supposed to sound like a pilgrim. Ok bby. Cameron discusses the way her and Vinnie’s relationship has grown over the past year, which is really nice to hear considering the Ray J problems they’ve dealt with, among other things over the last two seasons.
Most of the gang are sitting down for a relaxing evening meal, which Eva Marie reminds us is a difficult thing to have because they’re so busy all year round. Everybody toasts to Braniel – excuse me while I die from the cute – and Natalya adds a toast to John and Nikki ‘someday’. Tyson Kidd clues us in on Nikki thinking they’re never actually going to tie the knot, but Natalya remains confident about her OTP. Naomi also ships Nena, but Eva Marie is hesitant. Nattie suddenly goes on to mention something that she thinks is okay for her to talk about. I literally want to reach through my laptop screen and beg her not to.
Nattie drops the secret marriage bomb, and the group is lost for words.
“For future reference, don’t tell Nattie nothing.”
Preach it, Naomi.
I know this show is about drama and whatnot, but I am really shocked Natalya told everyone. I could buy it if she’d told Naomi, or one other person just to get it out, but the boys too? That shit’s gonna make its way through the locker room faster than Summer Rae. The rumours I mean. Obviously.
Back from break, we’re at Wrestlemania Fan Axxess. I have never been but I will one day – I plan on going with the Khaleesi herself and drooling over Roman Reigns with her (did y’all see him shirtless last night? Damn.) I don’t know if Cryssi is aware of my plan but I’m sure she’d be on board! Anyway. We get a few glimpses of wrestlers at signings, including a rare Zack Ryder sighing behind Tyson Kidd. Remember when he was relevant? Thanks Eve!
Eva Marie is heading to a signing with her husband Jonathan in tow. She’s pretty nervous – understandably – as it’s her first solo signing and her first solo Wrestlemania event. There’s quick Mick Foley cameo next and he gives Eva a hug which seems to make things easier for her. She goes on to the signing and some dickhead in the crowd yells out “You can’t wrestle!”
Ugh, neither can you, you asshole. Shut the fuck up. There’s also a woman on the stage with Eva, getting an autograph no less, who says she’s surprised they’re even letting her wrestle. How rude and also, how sad. Like… why would you wait in line just to say something hurtful? Congrats on the emptiness of your life if that’s all you’ve got to look forward to in your day. Go home.
Moving on, before I get angry, we’re at the annual kick off party for Wrestlemania. Everyone’s glam and looking fabulous as various superstars and divas walk the carper, including Braniel and Nena. Nattie’s hosting the interviews for WWE on the carpet. She interviews Nikki, who says she’s more focused than ever for Sunday, Brie and Daniel, who say they’re so excited for their wedding, and TJ who says Natalya is his favourite diva of the night. They’re pretty cute.
Naomi and Cameron have a little drink with Vinnie. Naomi looks incredible. Cameron? Um, no. Just no. The talk soon turns to marriage as Naomi discusses how she and Jon are in it now for the long haul – no break ups, no separations. Cameron and Vinnie reveal they’ve been together for over a year and things get cute before they get a little awkward. Naomi mentions how she never hears Cameron say she loves Vinnie and, when asked, Vinnie can’t either. Ruh roh. Cameron says Vinnie knows how much she cares about him though.
We know that Cameron has issues with her feelings from her past with her Mom and her step-father, and she defends herself and says that it’s a difficult thing for her to say. Naomi tells us that if she was with Jon for a year and a half and he wasn’t saying it back, it’d be Boy Bye. Hmm…
Nikki and John are finished on the red carpet and head on over to Nikki’s mom and JJ (who, I’m sorry, just comes off to me as an attention-grabber). Nikki and Mama Bella leave, and we all just KNOW the discussion is going to turn to Nikki and her secret marriage. I can’t watch, but I can’t look away.
Oh my God, I feel so bad for John Cena right now. His face when JJ spilled the beans hurts so much. But he handles it like the PRO that he is and leaves it for now, because it’s not the time or the place. It makes his leaving the party even colder, because Nikki has no idea that he knows when she says her goodbyes to him. Good Lord, the angst.
We’re back from commercial and Cameron (which I keep typing out as Camerona for some reason) is taking Vinnie and her Mom out to dinner over Wrestlemania weekend. The conversation once again turns to pressure on Cameron about why she doesn’t say she loves Vinnie, and I feel for the girl. Why is it anyone’s business but her and Vinnie’s? Cameron reiterates that it’s really hard for her to express her feelings to any guy, let alone someone she cares about as much as Vinnie. Cameron breaks out in tears and tries to make Vinnie understand why she is the way that she is, why she’s so guarded.
Kinda seems like Vinnie loves her enough for both of them right now, though. He’s super sweet with her, telling her he’s always gonna be there for her.
Nena are heading out for a late dinner to try and get some quality time in. This is one of their busiest weeks of the year, after all. It’s seriously quiet between them as they drink some wine, and Nikki notices the weird mood John’s in. If I were her, I’d be shaking in my socks. She just puts it down to how much responsibility he has on his shoulders this week, being the face of the company and all. John says this is the most awkward dinner of his life, to which Nikki responds that it’s not her fault.
Lord, this is painful.
Going swiftly forward, the doors of the Superdome are open and it’s just two hours until Wrestlemania. Cameron is me at this point – SO EXCITED. The Bellas and Eva Marie take a stroll through the empty arena, remarking that every single seat is taken. We’re reminded of the previous year, when the Divas were cut and we were all really sad about it.
A wild Emma appears! Summer Rae is there too and she’s glad Emma’s hanging out with her because the other girls don’t like her. Emma tells Summer straight. Maybe they’d like her more if she stopped being a bitch to them. Summer’s got Brie and Daniel a gift and a card for their wedding, but she’s not sure what to write it in. Emma offers a few suggestions, including ‘here’s the card for the wedding I’m not invited to, enjoy!’.
Nikki and Brie are backstage looking over their outfits when Mark comes over and reveals the Divas match has been given the death slot. You might think that’s just a term made up by fans, but Brie explains how real the threat of the death slot is. Instead of being third on, they’re going to be seventh, and that means that it’s going to be a short match or it’s going to be cut because it’s sandwiched between two main events. The Bella twins are very unhappy, because this same thing happened last year and they ended up cut. They’re worried they’ll be cut once again.
The Bellas spread the bad news, and everyone looks worried.
Eva’s backstage with Natalya, and she’s freaking out. The match is getting closer and it’s sink or swim. Later, Brie’s watching as Daniel defeats Triple H and earns himself a spot in the main event of the night. Nikki, meanwhile, is busy trying to calculate the timing of the show and realizes there’s only an hour to squeeze in the Andre the Giant battle royal, the Divas and John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Things are not looking good.
After John Cena’s match, Natalya gets real with Eva, who’s very nervous now. Nattie says that if Eva wasn’t nervous, she would have no respect for her at all. Only a handful of women on the planet can do what they do, and so she should be freaking out. Natalya says that’s what she likes about Eva; that she cares. Nattie says she’s proud of Eva, and that she has her back. Coming from a veteran like Natalya, that must put Eva on cloud nine. If there’s a diva in the locker room that can make anyone look good, it’s Nattie by Nature.
As the Undertaker makes his entrance, Brie talks about what a great performer he is and while she loves to watch him wrestle, she’s still really nervous because his match being before theirs means the Divas might not be on tonight.
WWE shows us the ending of the Undertaker’s match, and I get to relive the day my dreams came crashing down. Alright, little bit dramatic, but yeah. The streak is OVER. It’s bittersweet for a lot of reasons; first of all, the streak is over. Second, not only do the Divas have the deathspot, but they also have to follow arguably the most shocking moment in Wrestlemania history. Natalya hits the nail on the head. There is not a spot harder to follow than that.
We’re back after another commercial, and it’s go time for the Divas as they line the ring. The bell rings and the match is underway. We get some of the highlights, including Cameron’s Codebreaker (what does she call it?) and Naomi’s superplex. We’re also shown Eva Marie standing her ground against Tamina Snuka with a hard shove to the chest. She remarks that her nerves are gone and #allredeverything is ready to go.
Later, Brie and Nikki are taking to Tamina, before it boils down to just the Bellas in the ring. The rest of the divas are crowded on the outside, and the Bellas do what any sane woman would do in this situation; DOUBLE SUICIDE DIVES. I loved this moment so much. It was awesome. Brie and Nikki head back to the ring and square off. Nikki reverses a face buster attempt and nails Brie for the pin. She gets a two count on her sister but Layla and Alicia Fox interrupt the count. Chaos erupts all over and the Divas champion AJ locks in her black widow submission on Naomi, who’s forced to tap out.
Thus, none of our Total Divas are champion just yet. Soon though, I’m sure.
Everyone’s disappointed, but Natalya is able to turn it into a positive about how all the girls are a team and they put on a great show. I don’t care what anyone else thinks, they did. So there. Also – they didn’t mention Cameron’s wardrobe malfunction! Naomi, Brie, Nikki and Natalya are all really proud of what they did out there, and now that it’s all over they have something else to focus on.
Brie’s wedding!
We’re shown some quick clips of Daniel Bryan’s championship victory with voiceovers from Brie about the greatness of it all happening, before a hop skip and jump and we’re over to Sedona, AZ, for the Braniel nuptials!
Everyone’s arriving to the beautiful location for the wedding, and Naomi says it’s nice for them all to have this relaxing, mental outlet so soon after Wrestlemania. Cameron is feeling pretty down in the dumps (excuse the pun) because she has food poisoning.
John and Nikki are taking a turn about the venue for the rehearsal dinner, and everything looks gorgeous. This is exactly the kind of wedding I want in the future. Brie and Nikki’s nana is there, too, and Brie has a surprise for her! She turned her grandmother’s wedding robe into her rehearsal dinner dress – I thought it looked vintage! It’s gorgeous, and such a touching gesture. Shut up, I’m not crying. It looks like such a beautiful evening.
Nikki and John are being told that everyone thinks it’s time they walked down the aisle. Nikki’s hoping that her little secret – which is not even a secret now – won’t ruin her second chance at marriage. My God, I’m on tenterhooks, I’m so nervous.
Vinnie arrives later in the evening to find Cameron feeling under the weather still. He adopts the carer aspect and gives her tea and food and just makes her feel better all round. So lovely.
The sun rises on Braniel’s wedding day and the event staff are getting to work on the furniture and the aisle. It’a made up of red flower petals and looks so pretty. It’s two hours before the ceremony and Brie, Nikki and Mama Bella are getting ready. JJ arrives and suddenly I’m pissed off. He says he’s happy to be part of Brie’s first wedding, unlike someone else’s. Shut up you camera whore. (I don’t care if this is irrational, I hate the guy.)
JJ can’t believe how cool John was about Nikki’s previous marriage, and shit hits the fan.
Look. Nikki should have told John about her previous marriage, and yes it probably should have been before the wedding to avoid any drama, but it’s her fucking secret to tell! Brie calling her the worst maid of honour in the history of maid of honour’s may have felt justified, but come on. And JJ? Again, it’s Nikki’s secret to tell. She’s clearly ashamed of it, clearly doesn’t want it talked about, so even if John did know, why the fuck is JJ talking to him about it? His nose could not be further up John’s butt.
All the Bella kiddies are fighting, and it’s exactly what Brie didn’t want. I blame JJ.
JJ and Nikki argue until Mama Bella arrives and shuts them both down like a pro.
Nikki did dig this hole for herself, sadly, and now she has to mend bridges to get out of it. For now, the ceremony is starting. Everything looks gorgeous, I love what Daniel is wearing and the grooms men too. The bridesmaids look stunning, and even though he’s probably annoyed John can’t take his eyes of Nikki. Who can blame him? She’s looks lovely.
Let’s play spot the wrestler. Cesaro!
Oh, that’s it.
Everybody stands, and it’s time for the bride to walk down the aisle.
This is the most beautiful wedding ever. The vows are so sweet and raw. I’m emotional. Daniel tearing up. I am so done. Even Cena’s crying!
With the happy couple married and on their way to wedded bliss, Nikki gets down to business and goes to find John. He tells her subtly that it’s not the time or the place.
Meanwhile, Cameron has an epiphany and pulls Vinnie aside to tell him that, at the end of the day, she does really love him. Bless!
The reception is starting and the new Mr. and Mrs. Danielson make their entrance. Everything is going so well. Nikki and their cousin Kristen take to the mic to make a speech. Nikki tells them how much she loves them both, and after the toast has been made and everyone is chowing down, Nikki pulls John outside for a quiet moment to figure out what’s going on with them.
Ever the good guy, John Cena takes it all in like a champ and says that what Nikki did before she met him is in the past, and that he doesn’t need to know everything about her, but he would like to be high on the totem pole of people she tells those things to.
The Nena ship is sailing strong, my friends! Nikki says that everything is perfect and nothing could go wrong now.
And that’s that! It’s all over for another season! It’s been a season of ups and downs, of secrets and arguments and backstabbings and make ups, but overall I’ve enjoyed it. I love having an insight into the lives of the WWE Divas, and even though it doesn’t focus as much on their careers as it does on the other aspects of their lives, I still feel like we’re seeing a really unique part of the entertainment industry. Natalya’s right; there’s only a handful of people on the planet that can do what they do.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as me, and enjoyed my go at the reduxes to!
Until next season, adios! x
