What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s belated Main Event Redux. Happy New Year! I hope whatever you did to celebrate the dawn of 2014 went excellently. Last year finished off incredibly strange for the Divas with Aksana picking up a win… on Monday Night Raw. The shock factor has carried over onto Main Event and into 2014 as wrestling a match, that’s not a bazillion Diva tag match, is none other than Rosa Mendes. The creative team clearly had the resolution of “New Year, New Me” as this is the most random end of a year to start of a year transition that I have ever witnessed. Teaming with Rosa is none other than her fellow ‘True’ Diva and Diva Dirt Fan Awards’ ‘Most Stylish’, Alicia Fox. The pair are battling it out with Cameron and Naomi, the Diva Dirt Fan Award winning tag team, The Funkadactyls! Will the fan faves get their first win of 2014 or will lightning somehow strike twice and the person you least expect to win picks up the victory? For the first time in 2014…
TO THE VIDEO!
The first Divas appearing on WWE’s D show this year are none other than Cameron and Naomi! New year, new entrance video! Shame they couldn’t replace the stage graphic as well. And why are they being referred to as being from Planet Funk when the leader of the planet is no longer funky? I’m just as confused as you are by the whole Funkgate! Their opponents are out next and unfortunately for all the Mendes Luverz out there, WWE thinks that Alicia is more of a star as they come out the sound of Pa-Pa-Party! Let’s hope Alicia isn’t hungover from her New Year’s Pa-Pa-Partying. (Note: I know this was taped way before New Year yet for suspense purposes, let’s pretend Alicia has a self-inflicted headache as in our make-believe universe, it was taped live – damn the cocktails!)
The match starts with Naomi decking Rosa with a dropkick. It’s a case of “New Year, New Girl For Me to Recap” with Rosa and it’s quite funny considering she’s the second longest serving Diva on the roster. She’s starting off 2014 as she means to go on though I’m sure, wrestling! Naomi spinning elbows Rosa and then hits a forearm before getting herIrish whip reversed by the ‘Freakin’ Costa Rican. Naomi tries to traverse Rosa yet Rosa is smart to step back and she decides that a head bash and a cheeky spank would be the way forward. Naomi flat out disagrees, slapping the taste out of Rosa’s mouth. Rosa cowers at the ropes and then catches her Funky foe off guard, kicking her before hitting a sideslam. Rosa begins to get frustrated, which costs her, as she gets slammed down hard and for good measure, leg dropped right in the kisser. Naomi tags in Cameron next, who hits a spank suplex. I see spanking is still a thing in 2014… Annoyed and emotional, Rosa tags in Alicia as she hasn’t been this upset since Mizdango and her didn’t become a regular thing.
Alicia starts out dominantly, kneeing Cameron forcefully. The dominance doesn’t last long as Cameron shows off a beautiful wheelbarrow armdrag which she follows up with some forearms, an elbow and a headscissor takeover. Cameron tags in Naomi as Alicia rolls around like a fish out of water! Naomi and Cameron hit a nice double team move, but sadly for them, it’s not enough to get the win just yet. Naomi reverses an Irish whip from Alicia and proceeds to wallop her in the face with a kick. Alicia fights back though, tripping Naomi from the apron and then piercing her with a baseball slide. Alicia brings Naomi back into the ring and hits one of WWE’s most beautiful looking moves, that sick northern lights suplex. However, Naomi kicks out and Rosa enters the fray again.
Rosa kicks Naomi in the stomach before snapmaring her, a move in which she follows up with a stuff kick to the spine. If Diva Dirt’s Fan Awards have a “Stiff Kick to the Spine 2014” award at the end of the year, you’ll win an award too Rosa! Even though Rosa has only had about 14 matches ever in her career, her next move, the straight-jacket chinlock would make Michael Cole yell “VINTAGE ROSA” as I’m sure it’s the only submission she knows. Still, it looks pretty good so I’m not complaining. Rosa then proves me wrong by switching the submission up into a straight-jacket camel clutch and it looks genuinely painful. Rosa and genuinely painful in the same sentence. Has hell frozen over?
Naomi powers back to her feet yet as quick as she came up, Rosa shot her back down. Rosa tags Alicia back in and the sassy and classy Foxy slaps Naomi on the backside before snapmaring her and targetting the neck yet again. After being punished for a good 25 seconds, Naomi makes it to a vertical base, only for Alicia to shut her down again. Alicia goes for her tilt-a-whirl backbreaker yet Naomi has clearly been studying Natalya as she reverses it in a very similar fashion to what Nattie has done in recent weeks. Alicia axe handles Naomi to keep her grounded yet the fiery Funkadactyl refuses to stay down. Naomi tries to reach out to Cameron yet Alicia pulls Naomi back and knocks Cameron off the apron. However, Alicia didn’t plan on turning right around into a Rear View! She also didn’t plan on Rosa doing absolutely nothing to break up the pin and this one is over.
Thoughts: A 60 Minute Iron Man match this was not, yet I really bloody enjoyed it. I have to say, the MVP of this match was Rosa Mendes! Although she couldn’t pull her first ever two win streak, she performed competently in the ring whilst oozing charisma and comedic cockiness. If she wasn’t talking smack to her opponents, she was blowing kisses at them or playing up to the crowd tremendously. Is 2014 the year of Rosa? Probably not yet she’s off to a good start. If you class losing as a good start, and I do!
The match itself was interesting in that Naomi looked stronger than Cameron yet again. She won without needing her partner’s help more or less and at Tribute to the Troops, Cameron got eliminated before her even though they both could have easily been eliminated at the same time. WWE have chosen to book Naomi that little bit stronger so I wonder if they are teasing some possible tension down the line? Splitting them would probably be easier than having to think of a new tag team name for them. As they aren’t paired with a Dinosaur anymore, the Funkadactyl moniker is working for me less than ever before. New year, new tag team name girls please! And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!
